


ok just wondering

by thorbrucekyrie (arthureverest)



Series: one ant, two ants, red ants, blue ants [2]
Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Trans Character, Trans Luis, one ant two ants red ants blue ants, questioning scott
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 08:02:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18616510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthureverest/pseuds/thorbrucekyrie
Summary: Scott feels vulnerable, lives with consideration





	ok just wondering

“Haha, I don’t know.” Scott laughed weakly. He’d just described a dream to his friends and didn’t realize how vulnerable it would make him feel. 

“This is serious dream.” Kurt says, intensely. “You must consider it carefully.”

“Yeah.” Scott said quietly. “I gotta go.”

Scott left the room in a hurry. 

Dave doesn’t comment aloud, but Luis can see the gears in his head turning. 

“What do _you_ think it means,” Luis asked the other two.

“His heart cries out for nourishment, do you hear it?” Kurt said.

The room was quiet for a moment.

“I think he got his head jumbled up when he went too small.” Dave said.

Luis hummed in frustration and chased after his friend.

He found Scott in the garden, on one of those old-fashioned concrete garden benches, tracing circles with his boots in the dirt. 

"Hey, bro." he said and watched him wince at the greeting. "You want to talk about what's going on?"

Scott looked down, continuing to trace circles in the dirt. Luis at never seen him like this. He caught a flash of light reflected on Scott's cheek and realized he'd been crying a bit. 

Luis sat down on the small bench next to his friend, gesturing asking if it's ok to touch. Scott nodded softly, so Luis wrapped an arm around Scott's shoulder. Scott rested his head on Luis' soft chest, and some of the hurt melted away."

"I…" Scott started. 

Luis nodded encouragingly.

"I don't know what this is, but it touches everything. It tears up everything. It glues itself where it doesn't belong and it wears away at me. Things that used to be easy are hard now."

"What's wearing away at you?"

"I don't know, but I think it always has."

"Yeah?"

"Luis, I feel empty inside, and I don't know what to do. I feel like something opened up and everything important got out. I wish I hadn't had that stupid dream."

"You can't change the past," Luis swallowed, reminding himself as much as his friend. "You can only change what's in front of you."

Scott nodded, and they sat in silence for a moment.

"Just wondering, this doesn't have anything to do with anything but… how did you decide…" Scott asked hesitantly, "It was the right thing to do to transition." 

(When Luis was born, his mother was told he was a girl. It wasn't until he was older that he told her otherwise.)

"Man, I think I just knew. Like, I considered it a while and I lived with that consideration, but I'm just me." 

"Ok, just wondering." Scott said quickly. 

Luis understood what this whole episode was about, but wasn't going to pick at his friend about it. These things required time.


End file.
